How to Find the Shelter Dog You'll Love
Congratulations! You've made the big decision to adopt a dog from your local animal shelter. Your new four-legged friend can bring years of love and joy to your family if - and it's a big if - you choose wisely among the dogs that are available. Here are some tips to help ensure that the dog you select will right for you and your family.
Bring the kids -- but not right away. Although kids should help select the new dog, parents should make an initial visit to the shelter on their own. That way, parents can look at the available dogs and talk with shelter personnel without being subjected to the entreaties of their children. "It will be very hard for you to ignore your child's pleas for a very cute dog that would not be a good match for the family's needs," says dog trainer Colleen Pelar, author of Living With Kids and Dogs ... Without Losing Your Mind (C&R Publishing). "Together with the shelter staff, parents should narrow their choices down to three dogs before bringing the kids."
Ask questions. During the initial visit, take the time to talk with shelter personnel about any dogs that interest you. "The shelter staff should be able to give you information about a dog's activity level, sociability, tolerance for physical handling, ability to bounce back from stress, and other traits," says Pelar, who lives in Springfield, Virginia. "These assessments cannot guarantee a dog's future behavior, but they do provide some detailed information that can help you choose a dog that will fit in well with your family."
Look for an extrovert. Great family dogs generally love being with people, especially children. "One of the best ways to tell if a dog likes kids is to have the parents on one side of the room being quiet and the kids acting like kids on the other side of the room," says Pelar. "The dog that gravitates happily over to the kids and stays with them is a wonderful choice for a family."
Bypass the shy guy. The timid little darling who shrinks from your hand may draw your sympathy, but he shouldn't be your choice. "If a shelter dog hangs back in the corner of a kennel, choose another dog," says Pelar. "Look for a dog that really enjoys interacting with all the family members and one that recovers quickly when something startling occurs, such as a noisy argument over whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher. You want a dog that can adapt quickly."
Nix the possessive type. You should expect your kids to share their stuff, and you should expect the same from your dog. "Dogs that growl, snarl or snap when they have something of value, such as a bone, are difficult to manage around children," warns Pelar. "Ask the shelter staff if the dog has been tested for 'resource guarding' and do not adopt one that shows aggression if you try to take something away."
Don't rush. Finding the right shelter dog is an enterprise endeavor to be approached with care. Making the right decision can mean years of treasured memories for your family, while making the wrong choice can quickly lead to heartbreak. Make sure your kids understand that finding the right dog might take some time, including more than one visit to the shelter. Better yet, rein in their expectations: "Tell the kids that we're just going to look to lessen their disappointment if the family leaves without adopting a dog," suggests Pelar.
Award-winning writer Susan McCullough's books include Housetraining For Dummies, Senior Dogs For Dummies and Beagles For Dummies (all, Wiley). She lives with her husband, daughter and Golden Retriever in Vienna, Virginia. Visit her website at www.susanmc.com.
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Comments (29)
Anonymous January 30, 2009 8:45 AM
Don't necessarily agree with statement "bypass the shy guy". I volunteer at a no-kill shelter and have seen many dogs who have been traumatized or had limited interaction with humans that they shrink to the back of the kennel when approached. Given a little time, attention and affection, most of these guys will come around and become trusting and loving family members. Just as pets can be trained, children should also be trained to respect others and give them space when needed.
Anonymous January 30, 2009 9:00 AM
I don't agree with the "bypass the shy guy." After adopting a dog that was very shy, she turned out to be a bundle of energy that loved to play fetch until she dropped. Also, this "guide" was written in a very limited scope - just for families with children that don't have time to give the love and attention some dogs need.
Anonymous January 30, 2009 10:02 AM
Don't underestimate the shy ones! Our Maggie was curled up like a furry doughnut in the back of the kennel at the HS and was classified as shy and quiet. She did come up to me at the kennel gate right away, but zipped back in a flash when other people walked up. Once she knew she was safe and loved she became quite the socialite. Every member of our family has dogs in a variety of breeds (from Russian wolfhounds to basset hounds, lhasa apsos and pit bulls) and Maggie is great with them all. Same with our 3 year old grandson. She is watchful and playful with him too. She has more personality than a lot of people I know. Take the time like we did to use the shelter's visiting rooms and see what the wallflowers are like when they are not in all the noise and confusion. Shy could simply mean "I don't know why I am loveable since someone got rid of me"
Anonymous January 30, 2009 10:28 AM
PLEASE DON'T PASS UP THE SHY ONES!
I don't agree at all about steering away from the shy ones. If everyone did that, none of these dogs would have a chance. I work at at no kill shelter, and we bring in dogs from kill shelters. These dogs have had some trauma in life and all they need are loving, patient owners and these dogs 99% of the time come out of their shell and turn out to be wonderful pets.
Anonymous January 30, 2009 11:37 AM
I disagree with passing up shy dogs. Many animals don't do well in shelter situations. Hanging in the back of the cage doesn't mean that the dog won't make a great pet. Take him out of the cage, walk him and spend a little time with him. Then you'll get a better idea of how the dog is when he's feeling more secure. I would like to see better information posted on this site!
Anonymous January 30, 2009 12:23 PM
KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK WITH. We adopted a very hyper greyhound mix. He is so hyperactive and attention deficit. We agreed to work with this so we were pretty knowledgeable about it. Know that very active dogs can be more than some will want to work with as well.
Anonymous January 31, 2009 11:06 AM
Don't pass up the shy ones is RIGHT! Whether you're a designer dog type or have compassion for a shelter pet, you're hopefully smart enough to know a dog is a dog is a dog. Just like people, they come in all shapes, sizes, displacements, fears, etc. One of my shelter dogs was shy when I first saw her at HS and I couldn't believe that no one was adopting her. She's turned out to be the most loyal lover and the only one of my pets I would leave alone with kids. Go with your gut, intuition and as with any animal (shelter or designer) bring your patience, good attitude and commitment. Then everyone wins, and hopefully no one gets "put to sleep". Save a life, adopt a shelter pet.
Anonymous February 3, 2009 11:33 PM
Hooray for not ignoring the shy pet. People and children can be shy at first but they aren't ingnored. So get to know the shy pets. You will be amazed once you gain their trust.
Anonymous February 4, 2009 5:10 PM
Bypass the shy guy??? what are you crazy, my mom always said with shyness comes politeness!! love the shy puppies, love the outgoing puppies, the silly puppies, the loud puppies--just make sure to love them!
Annie March 6, 2009 10:57 AM
The shy ones are the ones that will surprise you. Please
don't bypass these lovable puppies!
Nancy March 6, 2009 11:08 AM
I'll go with the shy one. Our first dog, 30 years ago, was a rescue from the local shelter. We went looking, and the majority of the dogs were quite friendly and excited - all but one, who sat in the back corner shaking and terrified. We were told she was going to be "put down" the following day. We knew then and there she had found her home with us. Pepper had several health issues, and even more psycological ones due to abuse. When we took her to the vet he asked where we had found a "fox." She was chi/pom for sure, and the vet always insisted somewhere there was part fox as well. Pepper turned out to be a wonderful and loving pet, who was quite protective of "her" family! She was about four when we adopted her, and we were blessed to have her for an additional ten years. I will never ignore the shy ones!
Pat from Illinois March 6, 2009 1:32 PM
Please consider all pets at any shelter. They have all been through alot of changes in their lives. Please work hard and take time for care and training and trust, etc. We love them all.
Jacque March 6, 2009 2:16 PM
I agree with the others about the 'shy' pets. I work with a rescue group that takes in Boxers. Over and over again the shy ones blossom within just a few days, often surprising their new owners who thought they would remain quiet and shy. Most dogs (and cats) will open up quickly once they feel safe and secure.
Anonymous March 6, 2009 5:53 PM
another comment about "shy ones" take into consideration their surroundings. Our dog Emmy, was at the end of the row of barking, jumping dogs. she sat in her kennel just looking at us with sad eyes(made me want to cry) we just had to take her for a walk and to our surprise she was sooo very friendly. we sat on a bench to play fetch-she would fetch the ball jump in my lap and lick my face!! we fell in love with her! 2 yrs later she still loves to lick faces especially any kid she ever met & I wouldn't trade her for anything!!!
Susan Holmes March 7, 2009 7:33 AM
You state not to take the kids on the first visit just the parents, but how long do you wish for those dogs to stay in those cold kennels for? If the whole family goes together the first time they could decide then and there which dog to take. Also, to tell people to bypass the quiet one (shy) hiding in the back of the kennel is rather cruel, but perhaps they need someone who has more time to bring them out of their shell. Let's hope that the quiet/shy ones are not euthanised just because of this reason but given a chance like the rest of them.
Pam March 7, 2009 10:27 AM
It seems to me it depends on the kids involved. If they have grown up in a house of pets they will surely adapt to any pet brought home. The parents' attitude will determine theirs by and large. For first time pet owners this article is right. 2 of my 4 kids came with us(supposedly the ones that would NOT influence me) to the shelter for our last dog. Yes, they convinced me to take a specific dog when I thought she was shy and perhaps too large(lab/bordercollie/husky cross). She turned out to be perfect for us, the right size for them to hug, incredibly obedient and very gentle and kind. True if you fussed over one of the cats she was right there to get her share but that was her only "deficit". She gave us over a dozen exceptional years. Sometimes your kids can steer you in the right direction after all.
Olive April 19, 2009 3:58 AM
We got a shelter dog who was so shy & very quiet, he didn't even look up at us so quiet we picked him for our family pet. I must say we will never find another like him
he was so wonderful we had fourteen happy years to-gether
We will always miss him in our hearts forever.
StarAnna April 20, 2009 2:50 PM
are you kiddin!
the shy ones are the sweetest!
You should never "judge"!
ROGER C LEONARD May 1, 2009 4:26 PM
LOOKING FOR A FEMALE BORDER COLLIE SPADED FRIEND AROUND 1 AN 1/2 YEAR OLD
camryn May 7, 2009 6:08 PM
I think she is cute
camryn May 7, 2009 6:10 PM
I like olive
Dog Lover October 22, 2009 9:59 AM
We can't always judge animals by their actions. A shy dog has a reason for being shy and we just can't nix them because of that. I would pick the shy one for the simple reason it would be looked over. You can't judge a book by it's cover because you can miss out on alot by doing just that. Every animal needs love wether it is shy or not.
Paula October 22, 2009 10:14 AM
Please don't pass up the shy dog, I can't even think you wrote something like that!!!!!!!!
Mutt Lover October 22, 2009 10:21 AM
Don't pass up the shy ones is right. I rescued my dog from someone who had "found" her abandoned in a nearby home. This woman had 3 kids, who would not put her down and kept passing her around like a hot potato. Bailey was THE MOST shy dog I've ever seen, and curled into a ball the minute I held her. After getting her home and adjusted to my two other dogs, she opened up quite a bit. She has turned out to be the smartest, most loyal, and friendliest dog I've ever had. The shy one's will surprise you!!
dogsrus October 22, 2009 11:50 AM
When we first got our pup, he was very timid and shy. I was like aww look he is just so cautious and will come only when he wants to come to you! Took him two days at our home to come out of his shell! He is a boistrous absolutley charming guy! He will be 2 in december! He is very affectionate at times and also at times likes to be by himself for a while then he comes to you and wanst to play. He turned out to be just the right mix of affectionate and distant meaning he loves to be pet and also likes to have his space at times. Just the right mix for us! A wonderful spolied pup!
kelsey600 October 22, 2009 4:31 PM
This struck a real chord in me. I think the "shy ones" you should stay away from are the ones that hang back and show aggression. Fear biting is extremely difficult to overcome and if you have little children it's not a good idea. Beware of shelters that are not willing to say "No, that one's not a good fit for your family". My first rescue was shy and reserved until she knew you but she would go to the ends of the earth to be gentle yet protective of all children. I don't think another dog will ever love me as much as she did. She was the perfect dog. My current shy Katrina dog is the sweetest most lovable guy. He had to have been abused before the trauma of Katina (we've gotten over the fear of anything in your hand and the newspaper but he's still terrified of the broom and trust me - it wasn't from us!). After many months of patience, kindness and consistent structure to see my shy little boy blossom into an exuberant dog who loves to greet everyone and is even comfortable around toddlers is amazing. Imagine what that dog in that cage is going through before you pass him by. Use caution when looking at the shy ones and be prepared for some work but they can be the best dogs ever!
Heather October 22, 2009 7:35 PM
To "pass up the shy ones" would mean to NOT give a 2nd chance to a puppy mill dog who has suffered extreme neglect and .. and they SO deserve a 2nd chance to be loved! That's all I have to say.
Mike October 22, 2009 11:02 PM
The shy ones make wonderful pets! They love to be held and kissed and made over! And in time they will be jumping around and loving you !!!! PLEASE ADOPT !!!!!
anne marie October 25, 2009 10:06 AM
I ALWAYS look for the shy, scared ones, also I choose the older dogs. they are always appreciative of everything you do for them as they have been through the hard times. I have completed CGC's and obedience with them and even have a therapy dog that could have been put to sleep if I had not taken him.
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