Helping Pets Adjust When Kids Go to College
I was chatting with a young man the other day, who was getting ready to go off to an out of town College for his freshman year. He was very excited about being away from home for the first time, and beginning his educational journey, but at the same time, he was very concerned about leaving his cat at home with his parents.
Apparently his kitty suffers from separation anxiety whenever he goes away for even a few days with his buddies on a camping trip. His cat mopes around the house, acting depressed, with little appetite. He described his kitty's behavior as "lethargic and easily agitated" even when his parents are home. He feels his cat is inconsolable when he is gone for any long periods of time.
Since he cannot take his kitty to school with him as pets are not permitted, he was very concerned about the health and well being of his beloved pet. He felt as if he is abandoning him while in pursuit of higher education. He also considered himself somewhat of a "dork" for feeling this way, and asked me if his worries are unfounded. He was really quite conflicted about whether he should have opted to attend a local college.
This got me to thinking, especially at this time of year, if other young people bound for college are experiencing similar anticipatory anxiety and concern with even perhaps some guilt for leaving their pets at home if the relationship between them is rather exclusive. While there is an abundance of information available on the Internet to help people grieving over the loss of their pets, there is a dearth of information about how to help a pet who feels the loss of a beloved human companion.
I thought about what he was telling me and after mulling it over for awhile, this was the advice I gave him. At the same time while acknowledging his concern, I told him that I could not tell him that his fears were totally unfounded. Cats and dogs often become so attached to their favorite human companions that they actually "grieve" their owner's absence. It can take several weeks or more for pets to deal with the loss they are experiencing, but generally they do adjust and become more involved with other family members.
I suggested that he leave several items of clothing impregnated with his scent. This can be very comforting to pets who are at a loss without their best friend. Leaving an adequate supply of his cat's favorite food and treats can help to assure that proper feeding is not interrupted, but it is crucial not to encourage finicky feeding behaviors.
Feliway diffusers are quite helpful as they give off "puffs" of a product which mimics peaceful cat pheromones. But what can be most reassuring for his cat, is for his parents to become more deeply involved with the daily care of his cat. Spending time playing with him, grooming and feeding him, are helpful and creative ways to give the attention he needs and which will build a stronger bond between them.
He told me the suggestions I gave him were both useful and helped to alleviate some of his fears. I look forward to his updating me when he returns for his Thanksgiving break.
What other hints do you have which may further help those young people who are college bound? Leave a comment and share your ideas.
And check out the Top 10 Pet-Friendly Colleges in the U.S. to see schools that welcome pets!
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Comments (3)
Vicki September 9, 2009 4:44 PM
I think you gave this young man some very good advice. Also it helps if the college bound student has been living with their parents, and they are also close to the pet the student is leaving behind. This way, the poor pet doesn't feel totally abandoned.
jmuhj September 9, 2009 5:23 PM
Wonderful guy for recognizing his feline family member as a FAMILY member and not a "pet". Yes, Feliway often helps cats to calm in the face of stress; I would strongly consider attending a local university or college rather than being away from my loved one. That said, I trust the parents love their feline family member, too, and will take excellent care of him during times when his special person is not at home. Hopefully he will visit every chance he gets, too! And I would think about a (rescued, spayed/neutered adult) feline friend for an only cat.
Amy September 10, 2009 1:44 PM
Wow never thought about this ever! Now that you bring it up I will keep this article in mind if something requires me to be away from my companions (aka furry family members)for a extended amount of time. Wonderful suggestions.
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