The Vacuum Cleaner Monster
I am an avid cat lover. I also enjoy hanging out with a group of like-minded folks who enthusiastically adore sharing interesting and funny anecdotes about their fur babies. Often these exchanges have a "can you top this one?" edge to them. I hope you will find this one amusing. It is one of my favorites.
Many years ago, when I was first married, my husband and I were presented with a diminutive black kitten as a wedding gift. The little ball of fur, only eight weeks-of-age, was presented to us rather unceremoniously in a shoebox; the top riddled with holes. Obviously someone had extremely big feet, because the box far too large for him. He looked so tiny and helpless, and we fell in love with him instantly. He soon turned out to be a little rascal, getting into everything and finding amazing places in which to hide, that kept us on our toes. Therefore, we named him "Nemesis."
Nemesis was half-Siamese. His mother was Siamese; his daddy a traveling salesman. After a brief but passionate love affair, 9 weeks later, the litter was born.
Nemesis grew slowly into a huge, beautiful black cat sporting a tiny patch of white on his chest. Intelligent and curious, he spent most of his time exploring our one bedroom apartment, finding nooks and crannies of interest. Yet while he was a brave and feisty feline, one object in our home brought him to his paws in terror.
Yes, you guessed it. Just spying the vacuum cleaner on the floor terrified him, and he would stalk across the room, tail between his legs, crouching in terror. The moment he heard the motor start, he would dash under the bed in a flash, trembling. Poor kitty! I felt sorry for him, but at the same time, it was important to keep our apartment clean. I always tried to remove the frightening vacuum monster upon finishing my household task, and it was only then that Nemesis would reappear. First, his nose, then his ears, followed by his body, hovering close to the floor, much like the Cheshire cat reconstituting himself. However, he would remain on guard until he was certain that the gleaming canister presented no more threat to his safety.
The Monster
One afternoon, I carelessly forgot to stow the vacuum in the closet. It sat on the carpet, like the “elephant in the living room.” Nemesis fled under the bed, of course, but he became impatient to be in my lap, and started to crawl slowly out on his belly from underneath his hiding place.
He stood motionless at the quiet beast in front of him. Gathering himself together, I watched in fascination as he slowly arched his back, puffing his tail up in a threatening way. In a very aggressive and warlike manner, he slowly moved toward that which frightened him more than anything in the world did. I call that courage to the extreme.
"Thwap!" I heard his paw strike the blue metal monster. "Slap, slap" repeatedly until he was convinced that his "nemesis" had been abolished to the netherworld. I swear I saw a look of pride on his face as he slowly sauntered into the room proud and delighted with himself.
I am certain that Nemesis was aware he had successfully killed the vacuum cleaner. Since there were no more reasons to be fearful, somewhere in his brilliant cat-brain he derived a conclusion and never fled from the vacuum again. However he prudently retreated to a chair in whatever room I was cleaning..
Do you ever wonder about what your cats are thinking? Do they ever make you laugh? Share some of those moments with us by leaving a comment.
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Comments (6)
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Vicki August 11, 2008 2:58 PM
I have a Cocker Spaniel that barks his brains out when the vacuum cleaner is running. He bites it and obviously thinks it is something that is going to jump up and get him. You have never seen such a show!
Amy August 11, 2008 3:49 PM
What a brave little kitty. Mine just move out of the way of the vacuum, one room at a time.
Margie August 11, 2008 7:12 PM
This sorta reminds me of the "feud" that went on between Topaz and Mischief many years ago. The spats were just slapping matches and no blood was ever drawn but it was evident they didn't enjoy each others company.
One day, while Mischief was sitting on a chair we had put infront of the screen door for the feline pleasure, I saw Topaz stealthily creeping up on Mischief. Using any and all forms of camoflauge available to her (behind the couch, under chairs and around the big potted plant sitting on the floor) Topaz stalked her unsuspecting prey. Facinated, I watched her slink ever closer and closer until she was under the chair Mischief was laying on, eyes half closed in purrfect contentment and relaxation.
THEN, Topaz sprang and nailed Mischief right in her furry backside with all 10 claws. Mischief must have gone at least 3 feet in the air and was facing in the opposite direction towards her attacker (who was by this time long gone). Her rather fluffy body was easily twice it's normal size, with all her fur standing straight out. Eyes as big as saucers and shaking like a leaf in the wind she clung to the chair frantiically looking for the invisible monster.
As for Topaz, I swear I heard her laughing all the way down the hall and into the bedroom.
Donna August 12, 2008 6:25 AM
My cats DEFINITELY hate my big yellow Dyson vacuum cleaner. Mouse will sometimes not run from it, but if it gets too close ZOOOOM...he's in the bedroom under the bed with the rest of the cats. Funny, the only cat the vacuum didn't phase was my Flakey (now at Rainbow Bridge)...he'd just lie on the bed in his special spot and watch. They really hate the carpet cleaner WORSE because it's noisier...and they hate the damp carpet when I'm finished. But...such is the life of a person that owns 5 cats...the vaccum cleaner monster gets used every day. Speaking of that vacuum cleaner monster, it's 6:30, and time to drag him out and hit the floors. Have a great day, Jo!
Barb August 12, 2008 12:27 PM
One of my dogs will try to attack the weed eater if it's being used near her.
Thaxt August 13, 2008 11:27 PM
Most cats will !ZIP! if you even bring a Vacuum cleaner/monster INTO the room....& certainly , when you start it up.
But, sometimes, you get these anomalies, & reversals that can't be explained: David ("Vitch" was one of them.
If anyone turned the vacuum on, he would immediately run INTO the livinbg room,from whereevr he was, & start rolling around & around @ floor center.
This was a request to have the vacuum brush (the small brush especially, but anyone would do) run all over him, as he continued to roll about to make sure he was thoroughly cleaned. And, how he loved this! A very unusual form of CatRub.
Every species produces some very unique individuals.