Would You Give Up Your Pet For Love?

While romantics are searching for the right gifts for their loved ones for Valentine's Day, I am hunting for the perfect present for my adopted mutt. As a single 31-year-old female in New York, my dog is my companion and my responsibility. So, it breaks my heart when I see people giving up their pets for the sake of love.

A few years ago, my long distance beau came to meet my family. He adored my puppy Indu, but had doubts about taking her to Chicago in the event we get married.

"What would we do when we travel?" and "Can your parents keep her so we can get a purebred?" kept me awake at night. During an argument, he took his anger out by kicking my dog. Twice. I can still see the wide-eyed expression on her pretty face.

No one had hit her before. After this horrible sign and a slew of other aberrations, I called it quits. I am now thankful we separated and I didn’t have to make any harsh decisions. In order never to recreate this situation, I came up with five things to consider when looking for the right one.

1. Do you both want pets?

Along with finding whether your partner wants kids, pet talk should come early. If one person adores animals in their home and the other prefers zoos, there is a problem. Both partners should want to care for the animal for the remainder of its life. Pets have feelings and get attached to their guardians and it is extremely unfair to abandon them.

2. Can you live without your dog?

You've met the perfect guy who loves you and proposes with a precious diamond, but cannot gel with your pooch. Ask yourself if you are willing to let go of your furry friend for your human counterpart. To some, getting married is more important, even if it means leaving the pet at the nearest shelter. For others, marriage means having all members living under the same roof.

3. Are allergies an issue?

Some love pets but have horrible allergies. Ask your significant other about whether he is willing to take medications or try acupuncture or natural remedies to manage his allergies. If treatments are not an option, check if they'd be alright with keeping the cats in another room. Where there is love, there is a way.  

4. Is pet respect a priority?

If your partner neglects and/or punishes your pet, odds are you are next. Those who abuse animals have no respect for you either. Similar to my case, I’ve seen some friends deal with partners who hurt their animals to spite them. Abuse is unacceptable. Keep a look out and save your pet and yourself from further damage.

5. Is a pattern forming?

Your lover simply hates Fido, so you agree to let the pet go. Peace is restored and all seems well- for a while. Then comes the request for forgoing that painting interest you’ve been nurturing for a while. Or orders to cut contact with that relative she finds irritating. As that old adage goes, when you give an inch, they will take a mile.

Only in this case, you are giving up your best friend. For me, if a guy gives me a choice between him and my dog, I would pick her ten times over; because with the right guy I wouldn’t even have to choose.