Why Do Cats Love People Who Ignore Them?

Published November 17, 2010

I must preface this piece with an explanation: Since most of my friends are crazy about cats, the bond that we share is very special to us. All the cat lovers I know are more than happy to spend hours not only bragging about our feline companions, but keeping current with all the latest developments in the world of felines, exchanging any exciting information about kitty care and developments in veterinary medicine.

But I am certain that anyone that is not "into" cats often finds our cat-chatting behavior rather appalling. I guess its because they feel left out of the loop, and they often accuse me of having a one-track mind. Mea culpa!

The other day a few of my pals dropped over to visit. Since it was apparent they could hardly wait to get their hands on my cats, I began to wonder to whom the visit was actually meant.

They called them by name, waiting for them to come to them in a manner reserved for the feline devotee. When the cats came into the room to check out my company, my friends descended on our kitties, actually in competition with one another to be the first one to get the cats' attention.

But what was really bizarre about the whole thing was that -- unknown to any of us -- one of the visitors in the group truly despised cats. Who was to know? The rest of us were stunned.

And while it may seem incredible to folks who are not completely cat-savvy, this really turns out to be a rather common piece of feline behavior. Rather predicatively, almost immediately after this lady sat down on the couch, the cats descended on her, sniffing her, jumping into her lap, rubbing their faces on her clothing; giving her a proper head-to toe once-over.

My cat- loving friends were incredibly jealous and upset when the cats ignored them making no bones about their jealousy of the cat hating "intruder." Is it possible the cats were using their feline wiles to engage her to convert her to into a cat lover? No!

Cats are territorial by nature. They don't appreciate strangers encroaching on what they consider their space, unless they meet with their seal of approval. The cat lovers, in their zeal to make contact with the cats unwittingly trespassed on their territory. For shame!

On the other paw, the gal who detested cats sat down on the couch trying to avoid contact with them by any means possible. She made no overtures of friendship to them. In fact she was trying very hard to ignore them completely.

Since our cats consider the couch "their" territory, they kindly share it with us. Since our "cat-hater" encroached upon their territory, for them to feel safe a thorough inspection was in order. And since she made no attempt to interact with them, they could easily check her out.

The cat -hater was not converted and prefers to meet at a restaurant in the future.

Do your cats cuddle up to the cat-averse in your group of friends?

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Jo Singer

Shortly after retiring as a social worker and psychotherapist, I discovered my "writer's voice"…