Shared Custody of a Pug

Melani Robinson

Lola the Pug and Kate the mixed breed: best friends and shared dogs between mother and daughter.

There are few good things that come with getting older but one of them is that your children grow up and move out. Your home is clean and orderly and if it's not, you made the mess. If you're really lucky they take their pet with them. Such was the case with me, briefly.

My daughter was part of the trend of recent grads that moved home when the job market dried up. She brought her Pug, Lola, back with her too.

I was happy in my quiet life. I had a little mixed breed dog, Kate, who kept me company and followed all the rules a good dog should -- no barking, do your business when I take you outside, sit when I say sit, stay when I say stay. Kate was almost haughty in her obedience. "She's such a little lady," people on the street would say as she walked regally by my side.

Lola, on the flip side, was a nightmare -- the devil in a black coat. She didn't do anything on command, barked constantly, refused to go outside in inclement weather, jumped on strangers with her muddy paws and perpetually looked for trouble. She was also relentless in her torment of Kate. It was a constant, ongoing persecution. Kate corrected her regularly with a growl or a nip, but Lola was undeterred. I should also mention that Pugs aren't known for their brainpower and Lola met breed standard for sure. I swear I saw disdain on Kate's face when she watched Lola misbehave.

One year later a blessing occurred. My daughter found a good job and could afford her own apartment. Lola and she moved out, and with that a sense of calm returned to my environment. Ah, peace.

Then a strange thing happened. Kate became clingy, needy and a tad neurotic. She developed separation anxiety -- howled when I left, cried and whined when I returned. When I was at home she wandered listlessly through each room in a constant state of unease, barking at nothing. It was disturbing and I was perplexed. Could it be that she missed her rotten Pug sidekick?

"How's Lola doing without Kate?" I asked casually.

"Great, hasn't skipped a beat," replied my daughter.

I added "heartless" to Lola's character traits.

I had both dogs for a few days when my daughter was away on business. Kate was instantly calm when the naughty Pug was with us. The roles were clearly defined again. Lola misbehaved and Kate did the canine version of, "Oh no she didn't!"

My solution was to ask, OK beg, my daughter to share custody of the dogs. We'd split the week in half, I told her, with the goal being that they would always be together. It was a hard sell since Lola was doing fine and I'd spent the previous year complaining ad nauseam, but she finally agreed. The beast was back in my life ...and I wanted her.

As I write this, it is my time to have the shared dogs. Kate rests serenely in her bed as Lola jumps up and shoves her plush octopus toy at me.

It is wet and so is my pant leg because a few minutes ago she spilled her entire water bowl and then dragged her toy through it. I've said, "No," ten times but whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. I'll give in soon and will end up on the floor playing tug-of-war. I've come to admire her tenacity. On my shared dog days I smile as she bulldozes in. I know the days will be filled with disaster, but the nights when she snuggles up under the covers next to me, I admit, my heart is filled with Pug Love.

Author's profile photo
Melani Robinson Melani is a writer, mother, dog-lover, widow, yoga-doer and recent New Yorker. Melani’s blog:…

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Comments (13)

mh275 (Unverified)

how funny! I have 2 pugs and the same thing happened when I got my 2nd pug. THe older one, sammy was furious when this new black pug showed up! The black pug,choco tried to take over and sammy didnt know how to fight back. I took choco to the vet and left sammy home and lo and behold he missed him. since then they have been the best of pals ! Pugs are great but happier in a pack Good luck :)

Anonymous (Unverified)

I have two Pug girls and I love them dearly. Will never have any other breed! They are cute, funny and they love you with no reservations...thanks for the great story.

Pamela A. (Unverified)

as the song goes, "when [you] fall in love --" thank you for a great story. as a petsitter who boards in-home, i wonder why i do so when a rowdy client stays over, driving my dog, Charlie, and me crazy. i see the empty and hear the quiet after he has been picked up. then i can't wait for him to come stay again.

Anonymous (Unverified)

Obviously pugs have much more brain power than you think. She is in control of you! BTW - pugs are extremely smart and can be taught by the correct parents!

Melani Robinson (Unverified)

You're right about Lola, she has my number. Pugs do not make the top 10 smartest breeds, but they are not the bottom 10 either so "extremely smart" is probably a stretch. I've worked hard to train her. Kate is a very obedient dog, so I know a little about proper training. I've even taken Lola to The Great Dog Adventure Weekend with Cesar Milan and he shared a few helpful tips. The older she gets the better she behaves and tons of exercise every day helps. Thanks for sticking up for pugs everywhere with your comment, but don't you worry. Lola is truly loved. Melani

Anonymous (Unverified)

You've described my pug to a tee!! Loved the story.

Maxs\' (yep, Maxs) Mom (Unverified)

Been there, still doing that, have the muddy tee-shirt to prove it.