Decoding How Cats Show Affection

Published August 26, 2011

Getty Images: Cat Affection

How do cats show affection? Head butting is just one answer!

I am totally amazed when people ask me how cats show affection. Most do not know the signs and consider kitties to be aloof, which is definitely not the case.

Cat affection can be displayed in very subtle ways. Totally different from dogs, who express love through tail-wagging and wet sloppy kisses, felines show their adoration and trust using body language that might can easy to miss.

Here are some common signs of cat affection:

  • Eye blinks: When a cat meets a stranger for the first time, they give them an unblinking stare. They are wary. Cats that feel trust and affection for a human often blink at them. Now you may wonder why that is a positive sign. While it is not exactly the "wink" that humans use to express affection, (although it makes a lot of sense that may be the origin of that very commonly-used method of "flirting" between people), it is a gesture of trust and acceptance. So if your cat presents you with half-closed eyes, and blinks at you, you have received a kitty "kiss".
  • Grooming: When your cat allows you to groom him, this is another sure sign that he trusts you and feels cat affection for you. Not only are cats cleaning each other when they indulge in one of their favorite pastimes, they also usegrooming as a stress-reliever and a way to build mutual bonds. If your cat offers to groom you, you have actually been accepted as part of his feline "family."
  • Head Rubbing: When a cat rubs her face on a human, she is using scent glands on her cheeks to mark her territory. this can both mean affection, and that she is claiming the human in question as her "property." Cats also rub their faces on a wide variety of objects around the house, so it is fun to see which possessions are favorites. Head "butting" is yet another common display of loving.
  • Belly Display: This sign of cat affection is one of the most profound acts of trust a cat can bestow on a human. This vulnerable act is one that needs to be truly appreciated and respected. However, it is not necessarily an invitation for a belly rub, so please approach a cat in this position very cautiously.
  • Kneading: A cat kneading against your body is an act of sheer contentment, trust and true adoration. Often this is accompanied by drooling, which is the ultimate display of pleasure. This behavior originates when cats are newly born kittens, and helps stimulate milk flow from their mother. Highly regressive and instinctual, when your cat kneads you it is a supreme expression of delight and love.

Have I neglected any other signs of cat affection? Leave a comment and add to the list.

Author's profile photo
Jo Singer

Shortly after retiring as a social worker and psychotherapist, I discovered my "writer's voice"…

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Comments (249)

Annie12 (Unverified)
Always spay or neuter your cats. It does not change temperament - only the spraying and unwanted behaviors. Fear that your cat's personality will change does not outweigh the negatives.
catmama in Maine (Unverified)
Believe it or not....I often wake up in the morning with ALL 4 of my cats laying ON me and next to me! Oscar literally sleeps ON ME. I feel like a big "catbed" but it's also comforting to wake up with my feline family :)
catmama in Maine (Unverified)
How about "purring"? My kitty oscar will literally pur before I have even started petting him....an anticipatory pur! It's so adorable! He will also pur if I rest my hand on him while he is sleeping.
guesswho (Unverified)
Why does my cat get on the back of the couch and investigate human hair? He chews on the scalp as if he is checking for fleas. He mostly does it with visitors.
Kae (Unverified)
A friend of mine calls that blinking thing trusting cats do "love eyes".
Anonymous (Unverified)
Holding the tail upright as the cat approaches is a sign they are frendly, tail down low or twitching they are unhappy/unfriendly/about to pounce on you.
Anonymous (Unverified)
I have wondered something. When my cat jumps on the edge of the tub and drinks the hot bath water, is he thirsty? trying to save me from drowning? or tasting his soup?