Decoding How Cats Show Affection

Published August 26, 2011

Getty Images: Cat Affection

How do cats show affection? Head butting is just one answer!

I am totally amazed when people ask me how cats show affection. Most do not know the signs and consider kitties to be aloof, which is definitely not the case.

Cat affection can be displayed in very subtle ways. Totally different from dogs, who express love through tail-wagging and wet sloppy kisses, felines show their adoration and trust using body language that might can easy to miss.

Here are some common signs of cat affection:

  • Eye blinks: When a cat meets a stranger for the first time, they give them an unblinking stare. They are wary. Cats that feel trust and affection for a human often blink at them. Now you may wonder why that is a positive sign. While it is not exactly the "wink" that humans use to express affection, (although it makes a lot of sense that may be the origin of that very commonly-used method of "flirting" between people), it is a gesture of trust and acceptance. So if your cat presents you with half-closed eyes, and blinks at you, you have received a kitty "kiss".
  • Grooming: When your cat allows you to groom him, this is another sure sign that he trusts you and feels cat affection for you. Not only are cats cleaning each other when they indulge in one of their favorite pastimes, they also usegrooming as a stress-reliever and a way to build mutual bonds. If your cat offers to groom you, you have actually been accepted as part of his feline "family."
  • Head Rubbing: When a cat rubs her face on a human, she is using scent glands on her cheeks to mark her territory. this can both mean affection, and that she is claiming the human in question as her "property." Cats also rub their faces on a wide variety of objects around the house, so it is fun to see which possessions are favorites. Head "butting" is yet another common display of loving.
  • Belly Display: This sign of cat affection is one of the most profound acts of trust a cat can bestow on a human. This vulnerable act is one that needs to be truly appreciated and respected. However, it is not necessarily an invitation for a belly rub, so please approach a cat in this position very cautiously.
  • Kneading: A cat kneading against your body is an act of sheer contentment, trust and true adoration. Often this is accompanied by drooling, which is the ultimate display of pleasure. This behavior originates when cats are newly born kittens, and helps stimulate milk flow from their mother. Highly regressive and instinctual, when your cat kneads you it is a supreme expression of delight and love.

Have I neglected any other signs of cat affection? Leave a comment and add to the list.

Author's profile photo
Jo Singer

Shortly after retiring as a social worker and psychotherapist, I discovered my "writer's voice"…

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Comments (251)

Anonymous (Unverified)
No wonder Mr Scott loved you, you sound like a great person :)
Anonymous (Unverified)
Thanks for the info about kneading. When I was a teenager, we had a cat who would do that to me--complete with slobber. He was as playful as a dog, but I never knew that he loved me as much I loved him.
Deborah (Unverified)
Our cat Cooper doesn't let us pick him up, however he very loving and affectionate. Is this odd?
Anonymous (Unverified)
Im not a professional or anything but no, i dont think its odd. I used to have a cat that was previously abused and uncared for. She finally got used to me and would cuddle and sleep with me and most of all, rub against me. But she did not like me picking her up. I cant say for sure but i believe she was okay with loving me, but with her tragic past she was just too scarred from what happened that she was scared i might turn on her like some other humans shes loved. Just know that your kitty loves u with all her heart, she just doesnt want to be hurt.
Anonymous (Unverified)
Nice to know that when my cat is kneading on me, or clawing as I call it, that its not just using me as a scratching post.
Bamatami (Unverified)
We call kneading "making biscuits" in the South.
Jen D (Unverified)
not only does my Hedwig rub her face on mine, and she gives me head butts, she also rubs her nose up and down mine. :) I like to say, that's how she tells me she luuuvs me. LOL!