Dating Strategies for Pet Owners

How do you meet Mr. or Ms. Right, especially if you are a pet owner? These days, forget about meeting guys at the dog park or browsing dating sites for pet owners. Sophisticated pet owners are investing their time, money and energy into themed-speeding dating, auditioning for reality dating shows and hiring dating coaches. After a few years of living in the New York City, Amber Soletti, a former marketing executive, wanted to get a cat as companion. When she told friends about obtaining a rescued pet from the Humane Society, she was shocked by their reaction. Both men and women strongly urged her to "give it back" because she would be perceived as crazy cat lady. As a result, they feared her dating life would suffer. Amber did not heed their advice because she believed she would eventually meet someone special. Like most girls, she had trials and tribulations -- some guys were allergic to her cats; others didn't like her cat. "Obviously, those guys were not for me," says Soletti. "In dating life, there are deal breakers." For Soletti, other than the cat, it's tall men. She loves 'em. Furthermore, Amber was not impressed with many of speeding dating events that she attended in the Big Apple. "Many events were focused on age not interests. And, they catered to awkward singles," she explained. "It took too much time to weed out the few men that I was physically attracted to and shared similar interests-including liking cats." After being laid off about three years ago, Amber founded OnSpeedDating.com with a dog-owning partner. Their business offers 75 themed dating events. From hot events like "Asian Persuasion," "Cougar/Boy Toy," "Lesbian Hot or Not," "Three's Company," "M.I.L.F.," and "Hung Gay Night," to milder events like "Rescue Me, Firemen," "Puppy Love" and "Purrfect Match", whatever your interests, OnSpeed offers it. According to Amber, "Like with our Single Parent events, our pet owner events start off with a certain level of understanding. Other pet owners don't need to explain time commitment and caring issues. It's a given," stated Soletti. "If someone has to leave early to go walk their dog, it par for the course." For those pet lovers who want to sign-up for pet-themed dating, Soletti observes that although '"Puppy Love" is more popular with women, there are more men at the "Purrfect Match" event. Other than speeding dating, dog owners can audition for a reality show. Robin Kassner, a beauty publicist, signed up for Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker to meet a Mr. Right who must love dogs. Although she said, she couldn't talk about the show, she revealed a few discrete details to this reporter. If you haven't seen the show, Los Angeles based matchmaker, Bravolebrity and author Patti Stanger comes to New York City with her trusty, but unusually dressed staff for Season 4. Her goal is help the New York millionaires and millionaireiresses find their love matches. Unfortunately, devoted viewers agree that this is the season of discontent. Take Kassner, for example, who tells Patti in an introductory interview that she likes tall, blond men like Matthew McConaughey and that her hobbies including spending time with her dogs, Pomeranians Bruiser and Paris Hilton. Divorced Kassner, (Jewish, plus-sized and educated at Brandeis University) believed that she attended a mixer with mainly non-professionals and non-working men. "Many of the unattractive guys at my mixer still lived at homes with their parents. Instead making a fuss, I decided to go with it and have fun. It's TV," says Kassner. Rumor has it in the dating community that the first round of potential daters on Millionaire Matchmaker is not expertly qualified, but selected by casting agents. But then again, isn't that the "real" in reality show? While dog lovers were shocked by Kassner statement that she would give her aging dog Botox, and by the fact that she picked a plumber who didn't like dogs. Kassner assured me she was joking about the Botox and that she picked Luke because she had nothing in common with any of the men there. Her strategy was "to pick the hottest guy and go on a fun date." If you have seen the show, I will tell you that Bravo deemed her date the worst date of the season four. Furthermore, Kassner explained that in real life, Luke is an actor-to-be and not really a plumber, works as barista at a luxury hotel in the chic Meatpacking district and really likes dogs. The two dated for a short while after the show. And like her "character" on the show, Robin did expose him to a few of the finer things in life including pink polo shirts. Although Robin is still looking for Mr. Right, she doesn't regret doing the show. "People recognize me and my dogs more than ever," she says. If you can't image auditioning for a reality show, consider hiring a dating coach. Dating coaches can cost as much as a good therapist or personal trainer ($175+ per hour), but they can help you organize your dating life. Dating coach Nancy Slotnick is the founder of Cablight, a company that focuses on Lovelife Management. Cablight's philosophy encourages its clients to a roam like taxi with the light on and to be ready to pick-up or be open to new experiences. The Harvard-educated Slotnick with B.A. in Psychological Anthropology, encourages her clients (some of whom are dog owners) to treat dating like a fifteen hour a week part-time job and focus on a variety of dating strategies. One strategy that she is recommends is to take advantage of technology. "While technology has allowed those looking for love to meet people quickly, you must be careful in constructing dating profiles," she says. She advised women dog owners not to be photographed with dogs because men might believe that their dogs are the biggest part of their lives. For men, she doesn't dissuade them from being photographed with dogs because they can appear to women as caring and nurturing. And because, technology can be an isolating experience, she insists her clients get out and meet people. "Dogs can help initiate conversation. Strangers may be more likely to walk up to you and pat your dog than just walk up to you and introduce themselves," explains Slotnick. Most importantly, she asks lady dog owners to think about how they want men to perceive them. "For example, men may not be as attracted to you, if you are carrying a dog in a bag or dressing your dog in a sweater. A man may wonder if you treat your dog like a doll or a baby, how will you treat him?" Instead, she suggests running with a dog because it can be viewed as being sexy. Whatever you choose to do to meet a dog or cat-loving Mr. or Ms. Right , make sure that when you bring your love interest home to meet Fido or Fifi, you listen to their encouraging Meow or Ruff recommendations. What dating strategies have you implemented in your pet-owning life? Charlotte Reed, a pet trend and lifestyle expert, is the author of "The Miss Fido Manners Complete Book of Dog Etiquette (Adams Media)." Photo: Robin Kassner with Bruiser and Paris