Are You Bonded with Your Dog?

The title of my book, Bonding With Your Dog: A Trainer’s Secrets for Building a Better Relationship, always gets some flak. I hear people say things like “I know my dog loves me. We’re bonded!” But are you? This little quiz in the beginning of the book might make you rethink your relationship.

Does your dog “check in” with you during walks?

Many of my clients have what I call “sled dog walks”, where Fido is at the very end of the leash, doing everything in his power to move forward with no regard for his person at the other end. Granted, there’s a major obedience aspect to polite leash walking, but my question dives deeper than just basic manners. Does your dog even know that you’re there or are you just a deadweight that keeps Fido from moving forward faster? A dog that keeps his pace similar to yours and “checks in” or looks up at you every so often, is acknowledging your presence and participation in the walk. You’re sharing the experience.

Are you afraid that if your dog got out the front door unleashed he’d take off running and not come home?

If you answered “yes” to this one that’s not a good thing. During Q&A with new clients, some will laughingly tell me that when they open the front door, Fido takes off without a backwards glance, not realizing that this issue paints a rather dismal picture of their relationship. I understand that certain breeds have a genetic predisposition to wander, explore, and chase rapidly retreating objects, but I don’t think that those tendencies are the sole reason why Fido makes like an escaped convict every time he gets a whiff of freedom. If you’re going through complicated rituals to make sure that Fido can’t slip past you when the door opens, it’s time to revisit basic training, and give some thought to just why Fido doesn’t wait to see if you’re coming out too.

Do you think your dog is “too stubborn” or “too dumb” to perform simple obedience behaviors?

You probably took a training class with Fido when you brought him home. The first class was fun, the second class was tough, and then you gave up somewhere at the third or fourth week because Fido was the most excitable dog in the room, or the slowest dog in the room, or because you didn’t have enough time to get to class, or you just didn’t enjoy it as much as you thought you would. And now Fido is saddled with a label that he doesn’t deserve.

Does your dog seek you out in novel environments, for example, at a crowded dog park?

You show up at your local dog park and of course Fido takes off to sniff bums. That’s why he’s there! But does he circle back to check in with you at some point, or are you as good as a fence post until it’s time to go? In the hierarchy of what’s important to dogs, other dogs are right at the top of the list, so it’s no surprise that you’re invisible when you first arrive at the park. However, you should be more than just your dog’s chauffeur and gate opener. The bonded dog wants to know where you are no matter how intriguing the surroundings.

Do you find yourself frequently getting frustrated with your dog?

There’s a degree of frustration in every dog-human relationship, but the word “frequently” in my question hints at the real problem. If frustration, which is only a few steps away from anger, forms the foundation of your relationship with your dog, how can there be any room left for joyful communication?

So how about you and your dog? If your bond truly strong, or could it use some work?

Exercpted from Bonding With Your Dog: A Trainer's Secrets for Building a Better Relationship," Copyright 2009 Victoria Schade, Reprinted with permission of John Wiley & Sons, Inc.